May 27, 2023
Just a little update, surgery on Wednesday went smoothly and they sent me home within a few hours after the mastectomy. I’ve been struggling a bit with pain management but Nick has been an amazing nurse. I’m so grateful for him. I have not gotten the lab results back yet but I may get them today.
I thank you again for the continued prayers. I feel them. I think one of the hardest aspects is that life moves on without you when you’re sick. I missed James’s band concert last night. I’ve never missed a concert of his. The evening before was his final track meet of the year where he got his personal best time of the year. Next week is Victoria’s 7th birthday and I don’t have the health right now to throw her a party like I normally would. The kids are totally understanding but the momma guilt is still present. I suppose my full time job right now is to get better so I don’t miss more. Hugs!
The Test Results are in- Yikes- surgeon said “get that cape tied tightly, you’ll need it
The surgery healing process is marching on as it should. No complications. May 25, I go back to the surgeon’s office to get the drain removed. I’m looking forward to that, only 4 more days of the annoying drain.
The bigger update is that I did get the full lab results back. The entire mass they were seeing on imaging was cancer so about 8.4 CM tumor. They also tested four lymph nodes to check if any cancer left the breast. All four lymph nodes came back cancer positive with an additional cancerous tumor found near one lymph nodes. They will get me in soon, hopefully this week, for a PET scan to see if cancer has spread any where else besides lymph nodes. This means that I will for sure have chemo and radiation. I meet with the oncologist on June 6 so the hope is that the scan results are back before, so we have all the facts before aligning on a plan. None of this was the results I was hoping for, but it’ll all be ok.
The good news is that my cancer is estrogen receptive that means not only is surgery, chemo, and radiation options but also targeted drugs. More options is always a good thing.
I likely won’t have another update until after the June 6 appointment. Thanks again for all your support! I’m blessed to have you in my circle!
Am I Stage 3 or Stage 4…
Three days and 12 hours until bone scans and CT scans… not that I’m counting. As a general rule of thumb I’m not a worrying type person. I’m a type A (ok borderline control freak) type person but not a worry prone individual. I either can control the outcome of a situation (thus buckle down and make it happen) or I have no control so why stress. But I find this situation a little different.
I’ve learned in recent weeks that Invasive Ductal Cancer (most common type of breast cancer) when it spreads tends to spread most commonly to the spine and bones. The symptoms that manifest when this spread occurs tends to be back pain that doesn’t improve with rest. Well, some of you may know that I’ve been told for a few years now that I have Ankylosising Spondylitis (an autoimmune disease impacting the spine and joints). The symptoms I experience- back and neck pain that tends to be worst after rest. I’ve also had my neck fused at C3/C4. But No injury, just emergency surgery about 10 years ago. Seemed very random at the time to the doctors but getting an AS diagnosis a few years later made me think they were connected.
There’s this yucky sinking feeling, especially since I learned last week that I have cancer masses on my lymph nodes- what if, just what if, I have cancer on my spine. Of course I want to be wrong! So wrong! But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m legit ready to get these tests and know the answers.
And the stakes could not be higher for me. If my spine has cancer it’s a stage 4 situation. There is not a stage 5. I’ll still kick cancers ass but man what a nasty road to go down. So yes, I’m praying for no cancer where beyond what’s already been found. As it standing now: we are talking mastectomy (done), chemotherapy, radiation, lymph node surgery, hormone drugs for 5-10 years and reconstruction. That’s enough please. I don’t what to even have to talk end of life scenarios. Heck no.
But I’m going to try hard to enjoy this beautiful MN Spring weather, my amazing kids and hubby in this moment and tackle what we learn next week head on whatever that may be. I want to thank you for all the prayers, well wishes, cards and love I’ve felt. God’s grace is felt from your kindness. I feel wholly unworthy of the support and compassion however I’m grateful and embracing it. I can stand on your shoulders knowing I’m not alone in this. We all have journeys with ups and downs. Supporting during the downs and celebrating the wins of each other is what life, love, and fellowship is all about.
My Journey 