My Journey

Val Velde, Co-Chair Disability Awareness ERG, Land O’Lakes

Imagine driving in a large city that you are unfamiliar with when suddenly your vision goes blurry. So blurry you can not read signs and can barely tell if you are in the correct lane. Employees with disabilities find themselves in uncomfortable and sometimes unsafe situations. What’s your story? With 25% of the population struggling with some type of disability I know you have your own story or that of a loved one. Here’s my story.

Shortly after the birth of my second child I started having back and neck pain. I went to chiropractors and doctors, but it was widely dismissed until July 4th, 2011.  I had spent that previous night sitting in a chair unable to move my head or upper back without shooting pain.  I lost feeling in my arms.  After the rest of my family woke up, I went into the ER.  I had herniated a disk in my neck and required emergency surgery to remove the pressure off my spinal cord.  The C3/ C4 disks in my neck were fused but not before being asked numerous times if I was in a car accident or was a victim of abuse.  No, I just have a lot of back and neck pain was repeatedly my answer.

It was still years later when I got a formal diagnosis of Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS). It’s a form of arthritis that is autoimmune driven.  It’s basically when your immune system decides to attack your spine.   For those of you with autoimmune diseases you know that it’s common to develop a secondary autoimmune disease.  For me that Sjogren’s disease.  It’s when your body attacks the glands that produce fluid for your eyes and mouth.  

I tried hard during these years to “not allow” my autoimmune diseases to impact my career.  However, I learned that’s simply not always possible.  In 2018, most of my job was based in the Upper Midwest however I also supported a team on the West Coast.  That year I traveled out there 5 or 6 times.  Each time I landed in Portland, OR I was in a full flare.  Spine pain, extremefatigue, and just generally feeling like I’d been hit with a truck. I’m still not certain exactly what caused my body to go into a flare- the flight, stress, hours change, not having the right biologic injection for my body.  It was likely a combination, but it became clear that by the time I got to the plant I wasn’t functioning at a productive level.  During my last trip the Sjogren’s disease flared at the same time as the AS.  I found myself in the situation that moved from challenging to dangerous.  Driving in a rental car in an unfamiliar city with impaired vision was the “straw the broke the camels back” for me. 

For the first in my career I had to ask for an adjustment to my role. I have a wonderfully understanding manager and team.Today I have more responsibilities locally and I no longer manage a team that requires long distance travel. I add value to my teams while being respectful to the needs of my body. It’s ok to ask for what you need. Here at Land O’Lakes we have a Disability Awareness ERG and lots of resources to assist you, if you find yourself in a similar situation. Disabilities can be challenging, but together we can make it a happy ending that focuses on your amazing abilities.

Growing up in a small town conservative church I was taught that being gay was a sin. It was a choice and God didn’t approve. Period.

It wasn’t until I was a young adult in the beginning of my career did I ever really pause to consider what I learned and how much did not add up. God is love. God made us all so uniquely different in so many different ways and those differences makes us beautiful, special.

A co-worker of mine also happened to be a childhood friend. We’d leave the office together, eat lunch and catch up. It was many years of being her friend before I realized she was gay. Once I figured it out, it changed nothing. But watching her ultimately get married to a wonderful women and later having two children, she changed me. She doesn’t know it but she did. Knowing her, I knew, without a doubt, it was not a choice but the beautiful way God made her. She’s an intelligent, well educated, funny, amazing women who happens to be gay.

I knew then that God loves gay people and straight people and all people equally. And if I’m wrong, so I’m wrong but I will live life with love. Yet I did not go out of my way to advocate, speak out, to say anything. I just knew I’d support rights of all people equally but silently.

My journey was not over, a few months ago, as my oldest son and I were driving to a church event, he casually told me. “Mom, I’m gay. Are you ok with that?”

Without skipping a beat I told him how much I loved him and heck yeah I’m ok with that. We’ve had lots of conversations since, he even asked for a gay flag to hang in his room. He hasn’t told many people but he’s in middle school. Too young for romantic relationships but he just knows.

A few weeks after my son came out I got an email from church asking for volunteers to a committee focused on inclusion within our church and community. I knew the time to do nothing is over.

All people deserve to marry who makes them happy and have the career that fulfills them, including leading our church. I may have grown up in a church that proclaimed women can’t lead the church straight or gay but I’ll strive for the kind of Christian faith that values love above all else. Isn’t that the message of Jesus? We are all sinners, all fallen short, all need him for salvation. The greatest commandment is love.

I’m so blessed to live in a time when we are all asking ourselves do we really include all? Do we really value the beauty of diversity? Yet there is a lot yet to do as the events of 2020 so directly told us.

I’m grateful for my journey but I know I have a long way to go. God bless you on your journey.

Working Mom Life – tonight I was excited to be a guest speaker for a UW Riverfalls Ag Business course on leadership. My slides were all ready, I was logged in early to the zoom meeting, I even warned the hubby to keep the kids out of my office. All good right?

Nope, I get five minutes into the presentation and Victoria (age 4) runs in demanding to talk to ‘my friends’. I apologized, made a work from home joke and kept moving. Thankfully, after a few minutes Nick came in and took her out of my office. All good now right?

Nope, a minute later my computer warns me it’s doing a Microsoft 10 upgrade and my lap top shuts down. Shit. I got this. I logged on from my phone and kept going. Ugh. Now everything is all good right?

Nope, a few minutes later James comes into my office with a poster saying, “Victoria is lost!!!” Crap, really? I keep smiling and presenting mean while thinking where she ran off to. Sam comes in next and announced that he thinks she’s dead somewhere. Not likely, yet still concerning. I keep going but now I’m flying through the slides.

A few minutes later I hear Nick and Victoria. He had taken her with to grab supper – no more crisis. I finish the presentation and calmly stay for student questions as no one is now presumed dead.

Now I need a glass of 🍷.

Next time I chain them all in the basement, including the hubby.

Keith LeRoy Romann was born April 27, 1949 in Perham, MN to Phyllis Alene Romann (Walkington) and Kenneth Lloyd Romann. Keith grew up on a farm and developed a love for the outdoors. Keith was active in school with football, band, FFA and 4-H. He was proud to play his tenor saxophone in the national FFA band and be selected for an international band camp. He graduated from New York Mills High School in 1968. Keith continued his education at Staples Technical College for machinist tool and die and later for drafting. His greatest joy was being married to his wife, Betty Romann (Hofland) and his three children and four grandchildren. Keith and Betty were married December 14, 1973. He taught his children a love of nature and agriculture. Keith and Betty had a small hobby farm. They also had a large garden from which he sold produce to local stores and restaurants. Keith was a highly active parent in PTA, 4-H and the marching band. He loved helping his children with 4-H projects and animals. Keith continued his legacy by giving his grandchildren the love of fishing and hunting. Keith enjoyed many hobbies including deer hunting, fishing, family camping, state fair trips, gardening, and stopping at garage sales and auctions. Keith was active in many types of sales positions winning awards and trips. For the last 7 years Keith and Betty have had an inside booth at the Wadena Flea Market. He had a knack and love for sales and people. Keith leaves behind his wife of 44 years, Betty Romann; two daughters: Patricia Gelling (Husband Kenneth Gelling); Valerie Ann Velde (Husband Nicholas Velde); one son, Kevin Romann. Keith has four grandchildren: Hunter Gelling and James, Samuel, and Victoria Velde. Preceding him in death are both parents, Kenneth and Phyllis Romann; and his brother Larry Romann.

Thank you coming. I’m Val Velde, Keith’s Middle Daughter. And on behalf of my mom, Betty, My sister Patricia and my brother Kevin we want to thank you for being here today. Thank you for helping us celebrate Keith’s life through pictures, stories, and song. And for each other through our transition of no longer having Keith with us.

Thursday afternoon Dad took a nap and didn’t wake up. He turned 69 the end of last month. One could say that this is sudden, unexpected, and shocking. And it is. But I also want to share that I personally believe our family was granted a great deal of borrowed time. Not just time but high-quality time.

When I was in the first grade my father had his first major heart attack. There were serious concerns at that time about a failing heart. Today I’m 37 years old, been married 15 years, have three children and I’ve had the blessing to have my father here for all of it. He was there when I graduated High school. He was there when I graduated from Undergraduate degree. He was there when I graduated from my Master’s program. He was there to celebrate with us dozens of special occasions. I believe that God blessed our family with barrowed time. Not just days, weeks, and months. But even years and decades.

The blessing of having a parent with serious health issues is that you don’t take tomorrow for granted. We valued camping trips, fishing, concerts, a Vikings game and other events that we knew we wanted to do.

I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you some of things I learned from my father:

– Dad taught me to love a good deal. To this day I hate paying full price for anything. I can’t pass a garage sales or flea market or auction without thinking of my father. My dad was the guy that bought all the stuff at the end of an auction that didn’t sell. At a steal of a deal I might add.

– My dad taught be how to use a band saw, a hammer, and just generally make my way through the shop. My older sister and my dad really bonded over shop work. With my dad’s guidance my sister built some really cool things, my favorite being this amazing bench. My sister even followed dads foot steps and went to Staples Technical School.

– My dad taught me an appreciation of Agriculture. I’ve been passionate about the Ag industry throughout my career and that came from my father. It’s guided my 15 year career at Land O’Lakes. – All three of us kids followed dads foot steps in 4-H and FFA. – Dad drove us to everywhere!

– My dad taught all of us kids the love of outdoors, nature, camping, and fishing. My brother followed into my dad’s passion for hunting.

– My dad had some sayings growing up that rubbed off on me. “If you aren’t 10 minutes early, you are 10 minutes late” he’d say. Patricia and I would be the first ones at every meetings, concert, event, we were ever in or attended. Sometimes crazy early. 😊 I can tell you I was never late for class in college and even in my first years in the working world I’d show up early for everything.

– My dad and Kevin talked to each other everyday. They were best friends. – Kevin and my dad both had a love of trucking and machinery.

– From my dad I also learned to the value of hard work. More than that I learned that not all things that need to be done are fun. “what does ‘want’ have to do with anything?” the no complaining just shut up and get it done is a personality trait I learned from my father. – Additionally, my father taught my many more phrases and words that aren’t appropriate for church. – My sister and I learned the love of music from my father. Both my sister and I followed my father’s foot steps into band. My sister played Saxophone just like dad. My oldest son James starts playing saxophone this summer and I’ll think of dad every time I see him practicing.

– When I was really little I’d give dad a hug before bed and he’d say “good night stinker!” Now if you translate “good night stinker” in Keith’s language that meant “I love you Val”. As I reflect on all the memories with my father and I learned I’m so grateful for all those years of barrowed time.

In closing I’d just like to speak briefly to my father, who I know is here right now, “Dad good night Stinker”

Betty Marie Romann was born to John and Mary Rose (Mohr) Hofland on August 19, 1950 at the Perham Memorial Hospital in Perham, MN. She grew up on a farm near Perham, MN and attended a two-room school house (St. Joe School) and was baptized and confirmed in St. Joe Church which was across the road. She graduated from Perham High School. She then went to Minneapolis where she graduated from Professional Bonnie’s Institute as a lab tech. She then worked as a lab tech in research at University of Minnesota in the Doctor’s Office in Minneapolis. While living on campus she enjoyed meeting people from all over the world, where a friendship started that took her to a trip to Ecuador. During this time she also met and married the love of her life Keith LeRoy Romann. They were married at the Newman Center on campus on December 14, 1973. After graduating from St. Mary’s College as a Registered Nurse. The couple moved to Moorhead, MN when Betty worked at St. Ansgar’s Hospital and St. Luke’s Hospital. The couple later moved to Staples, MN so Keith could complete his schooling after which they moved to Garfield, MN where they made their home. Here they raised three children- Patricia, Valerie, and Kevin. She enjoyed working in their large garden and assisting their children with 4-H and FFA projects. Her pride and joy was seeing the children participate and excel in their projects at the MN State Fair like woodworking, gardening, raising chickens and turkeys, baking, etc. While working at the Douglas County Hospital in Alexandria, MN she worked in many different positions. She loved nursing and had a special heart for teaching and counseling. She worked as a volunteer for the American Cancer Society putting on educational programs, Co-teaching I Can Cope classes and co-chairing the Relay for Life. After leaving Douglas County Hospital she worked as an RN and Social Service designee at Evansville Care Center. Upon retiring she and Keith traveled being vendors at the state fair and other events. Betty assisted Keith for several years at the Wadena Flea Market where she worked in sales. They enjoyed camping there and creating special friendships. When asked of her fondest memories she shared: her wedding day, the weddings of Patricia and Valerie, being in person for the birth of grand daughter, Victoria Rose, spending time with all her grandchildren and one very special vacation to the mountains while trout fishing. Her most prized childhood memory was being with her Grandma Veronica in her flower beds. Veronica had a powerful influence on Betty. Overall her most treasured times in life were spent talking and listening to others, connecting to their joys and sorrows in life. Betty died on December 12, 2019 at the age 69 years old. She is survived by her children Patricia (Kenneth) Gelling, Valerie (Nicholas) Velde, Kevin Roman (Kathy); grandchildren Hunter Gelling, James, Samuel, and Victoria Velde, brother Robert Hofland, and sisters Margaret (Jerry) Lotvola, Dorthy Jean (Larry) Smith, and Roberta (Ronald) Sherman; and many more family and friends. She was preceded in death by her husband, Keith Romann; her parents, John and Mary Hofland, an infant brother Dennis, and her grandparents.